Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome to youo optimal health. I'm Dr. Nathan Bryant and today we're talking about practical ways to improve your health and wellness. You're watching Now Media Television.
Hello everyone. I'm Dr. Nathan Bryan and welcome to youo Optimal Health.
On this show, I want to help people understand health as more than lab numbers and symptoms or diagnoses. Health is also how we think, how we speak to ourselves, how we move through fear, and how we find the courage to keep growing.
Today I'm joined by Janice Burt, president and CEO of Spanish Janice. Janice is an inspirational speaker, a podcast host, a Court certified Spanish interpreter, voiceover artist, actor, yoga instructor and author. She has spoken on the TEDx stage twice with powerful messages around releasing people, pleasing and walking through one fear toward another. What I love about this conversation is that Janus brings together communication, courage, movement and hope. And today I want to talk about how the words we use with others and with ourselves can either keep us stuck or help us heal.
So, Janice, welcome to the show and thanks very much. You've got a lot of titles here, so give us a little bit of background of your career and these many titles you hold.
[00:01:14] Speaker B: Hello. Thank you so much for having me on. It's always exciting to talk about life's journey and transformation and personal growth.
In a nutshell, that's why I'm here is I finally came to this place of, you know, the rock bottom moment where you realize, oh my goodness, like my life has fallen apart and I don't even know who I am, why I'm here and what's going on with life.
So I gotta, I gotta figure something out.
So I love this conversation and the messages around change and transformation and becoming the best versions of ourselves.
[00:02:04] Speaker A: Absolutely. You know, that's the, really the objective of this show youw Optimal Health. Because we know it's the integration of our physical and mental and spiritual and emotional health and one, we can't have one without the other. And I think that's why what you do is so important and really coming from a place where you had to make obviously, you know, changes in your own life to get out of this. But as an, as a Spanish speaker and interpreter and creative professional yoga instructor and encourager, how do you use that? How do you, how do you use what you've learned to help others?
[00:02:37] Speaker B: What's funny is it didn't start out as even thinking about other people.
All of that started out as trying to help myself because as a recovering people pleaser and a follower, I just did what everybody else did. I kind of conformed to the status quo.
And the only reason I started doing Spanish interpreting or acting or yoga or voiceover work or becoming an author or speaker, any of that stuff was because I made a conscious choice to walk through fear.
So I realized that fear had been holding me back.
And I thought the only way to combat fear is to walk straight through it.
So all of the things I just listed where now I make money doing those things, they all started out as huge features, fears that I overcame that I walked through.
[00:03:43] Speaker A: Yeah, and you talk about people pleasing. Was your fear of disappointment and walking through this life trying to please others with no regard for yourself. Tell us a little bit about when you talk about fear. Was it fear of disappointment? And where does people pleasing come into this equation?
[00:03:59] Speaker B: A lot of the fear had to do with social situations with other people letting them down, not being good enough for them. Fear of failure, fear of criticism and judgment.
And year by year that fear got more and more constricting.
So the fear of all of that definitely played into the people pleasing because I was so scared of what people would think of me if I let them down or said something that they didn't agree with, that I just started agreeing with everybody and trying to fit in to places and trying to camouflage myself to belong, which I know is a human problem that a lot of us can tend to do is please other people at the expense of our own needs, of our own desires, of who we actually want to be in this life.
[00:05:03] Speaker A: No, I think that. Look, I suffer from the same thing.
My greatest fears are fear of letting people down and fear of disappointment. And we neglect our own health and our own agenda trying to please others. And I think there was a good friend of mine told me that if everyone's your friend, you have a problem.
And I think there's a lot of truth to that. Because when you deny yourself and try to please others, it's important to love and support others. But we have to take care of ourselves.
So these languages and shapes the way people see themselves and how did that affect you? And the way you were talking to yourself, if you were criticized, did that affect your confidence and, you know, a sense of failure or what did you know? How did that transpire to you to then lead you to this place where you are today?
[00:05:50] Speaker B: Oh my goodness. Well, our self talk is everything, literally our, because it becomes our perception of ourselves and the world.
So I realized that the soundtrack in my life was, I call it the voice of Darth Vader.
Whenever those negative voices would come up of, you know, you're not good enough, you're unlovable.
Who would want to even hang out with you, you know, stay small, stay stuck.
And that those voices stayed with me for so many years. And even now, after doing so much personal development work, I still find myself, you know, the voice, Darth Vader's voice will, Will creep up. And the cool thing now is I can identify it, I'm aware of it.
Instead of just thinking that I am my thoughts, I know that I am not my thoughts. We have so many thoughts every day. And I know, you know, there's been times you're like, where did that even come from? Or how am I thinking that we are not our thoughts? And that was so liberating for me to, to realize that just because I think something doesn't make it true.
And if I'm constantly thinking something negative, I can actually change that and I can start thinking something positive, which I call the voice of Yoda. And Yoda is wise and loving.
And that is the voice that I now choose to listen to and adopt.
[00:07:36] Speaker A: Absolutely. And I think people, people don't understand the power of language, language from others and even, you know, our own language.
There are studies out years ago showing that if you talk positively to plants and it's this frequency and this energy that's being conveyed, the plants grow stronger, they grow faster. And so if you talk down to them and have negative thoughts and negative energy, they don't do. We as humans are physical beings. We're energetic beings. And those frequencies and that negative energy can resonate with us and make us ill. But I think for you to recognize and turn that fear into. Into passion and then a mission, it's really extraordinary. So congratulations on that. But, you know, you introduced this concept of a messy action as a healthy alternative to perfectionism, avoidance, and waiting to feel ready. So how have you been able to act on that and then lead, guide, and teach and coach others to take those fears and turn it into something positive?
[00:08:32] Speaker B: Well, I love the messy action concept because so many people, myself included, are trapped in perfectionism.
And so they won't do anything because they want. They have this fear that it won't turn out the exact perfect right way.
And that's so detrimental because, as you know, like when we're kids, if we try something new and we fail, let's say riding a bike, you fall down, you would just get back up and keep riding, fall down, get back up and keep riding. And then eventually you get pretty good at it.
I feel like it's the same way throughout our adult life. But at some point we become people pleasers or we become too concerned about what other people think.
And so when we fall down, we stay down and we don't get back up on the bike or the horse or whatever, whatever the thing is. And so messy action has been so important in my life to really take the power back and say, you know what, I'm going to show up and I really want to do big things. And those things sometimes are not going to turn out great. The first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, whatever time.
For instance, when I became a court certified Spanish interpreter, I failed the first test and I was devastating because it's one of those ones you can only take twice a year and you have to pay a bunch of money to take it.
So, you know, I could have quit and not signed up for the next one. But I remember having this thought, I will take that test as many times as I need to take it until I pass or I just die trying.
And so I think we have to have that mentality of you just keep getting back up, taking messy action and then do the next messy action and eventually it won't be as messy.
[00:10:38] Speaker A: Now look, I think that's right. Too many people worry about what other people think and you know, it gets in our way. But you know, on this show we want to introduce this idea that optimal health includes learning to speak to ourselves and you know, and removing from our lives people who may be negative or continuous talking us down or telling us that what we're trying to do is impossible because those people are around and we've got to remove them from our lives. And I think learning to speak to ourselves with more honesty, courage and compassion as you do and taking that fear and making it a positive is extremely important.
So, Janice, when we come back, we're going to talk about fear, people pleasing and what happens when we begin choosing courage over approval. So stay tuned.
We'll be right back with more tools and insights to help you feel healthier, stronger and more energized. Stay tuned. And we're back. I'm Dr. Nathan Bryan and this is yous Optimal Health on Now Media Television. Let's continue.
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I'm back with Janice Burt, president and CEO of Spanish Janus. In this segment, I want to focus on something many people quietly struggle with. It's people pleasing, fear of disappointing others, and the emotional cost of living for approval. So Janice, welcome back. So we touched a little bit about on this pretty previous episode and previous segment. So talk us about, you know, what was your, what was the habit that you had to kick in terms of people pleasing and then how did it actually affect your relationships?
[00:12:34] Speaker B: So the people pleasing thing started pretty young.
My parents were actually missionaries in Mexico City, which is where I learned Spanish.
And when you're raised in the church and my mom was a perfectionist and very much like do the right thing and you know, stay on track. And so I was raised in a way that encouraged people pleasing.
And again, like you said, it's great to be nice and kind and helpful and support people, but it can get to the point where you are neglecting your own needs, your, you're neglecting yourself. And, and I truly believe that we cannot support other people or love other people if we don't first support and love ourselves.
And you know, there's, there's the difference between selfishness and self care.
So I would also like to, to highlight that point.
But people pleasing just came into my life at a very young age because certain things were expected, expected of me.
And I feel like you either become a people pleaser or you rebel completely. And I just chose the, the people pleasing route and then just continued along that path. It was just habits that formed.
Got married really young, I was 20 years old, had two beautiful children, and then realized that I was people pleasing in my relationship in a way that was really detrimental to my own well being and like really pushing myself down in order to please my husband.
And it got to the point where it no longer was a marriage, like what's considered a marriage. And it was so painful to be in that relationship that that's when I hit my rock bottom and I had to make that very hard decision of separating from my husband. So all of this, the fear that I've walked through, all of the things that I've done came from that rock bottom place after my divorce.
[00:15:00] Speaker A: And now, you know, looking back on this, do you see, obviously this can create a lot of stress for you and even resentment, burnout and anxiety and really loss of your identity is that, did you have those same emotions that you went through when you finally hit rock bottom and Realized that I have to do better.
[00:15:15] Speaker B: Oh yeah. I mean, I remember not be asked, where do you want to go for dinner? This is just a silly example kind of. But like that's how bad it got is. I was like, I don't even know. I don't know what I want to eat. I don't even know what sounds good to me. What sounds good to me is what sounds good to you.
And so it became very.
I became a shell of a person, a shell of a human being where I was just searching for approval and validation and ultimately love.
Because at the end of the day, we're all searching for, for love. And we're all trying to fill that void inside with love.
But sometimes we're getting it from places that really don't serve us or they're not really where the source of that love comes from, but we're siphoning it from other people and trying to get that from something that's outside of ourselves. And that will never ever work. It's, it's only when we decide to do the personal growth work.
That means healing emotional wounds. That means looking at the trauma of the past and addressing it.
That means setting boundaries, which is really hard for people pleasers. It means working on that self talk and truly learning how to love ourselves first so that we then can truly love other people and not just a mask or a facade.
[00:16:56] Speaker A: Sure. You know, I think there's, there's, there may be a fine balance here because I think, you know, people pleasing and self abandonment doesn't mean that we don't have to be kind or we still can't be kind to people. So how have you maintained that balance where you can still be kind and try to serve others and live with a servant's heart, but don't abandon yourself and your identity. So is that a fine line to walk there? How do you maintain that balance?
[00:17:22] Speaker B: Yes, and it's the intention behind it. So really it's about knowing oneself self, having self awareness.
And it's funny, even though a lot of people think that they're self aware, there was research done that shows that it's like 90% of people are actually not self aware.
So that's a small percentage of the population that truly sees themselves for, for really who they are and how they show up. So the bottom line, for me and for anybody else out there who's listening, I would say start with getting to know yourself.
And I did that through not just deep introspection and asking myself questions. I did that through a lot of Therapy.
I did that and all sorts of therapy. One of the main ones that helped me was hypnotherapy, where you're in a very relaxed state and you're guided into your subconscious. And that is where we hold all of our beliefs.
And, you know, our beliefs is kind of what forms and shapes how we're going to show up in the world.
And when I did this first hypnotherapy session, I actually saw and felt the fear that was completely permeating my entire being, and that was the awareness of fear. I was like, oh, my goodness, I am full of fear.
So in that session, my hypnotherapist helped me see and visualize the fear.
And then she had me envision this round, clear bubble, and the fear showed up as darkness. It was just like, you know, black as night.
And so she had me put that fear into the bubble and watch it float away so that I didn't have to carry that fear anymore.
[00:19:30] Speaker A: Yeah, you know, I was guilty of the same thing for years. You know, I was a people pleaser, and I never said no. When people asked me to do something, I would always do it whether I had time or not. And I had to make time to do it. But, I mean, it was a stressful mess. It affected my sleep, my energy. And again, this fear of disappointment really took its toll on my body. And it was finally when I realized, similar to you, I've got a lot of work to do inside. I need to figure out, how do I make me happy? Because we can't make other people happy unless we're happy. So I'm happy to hear that that wasn't a unique experience just for me. But I think a lot of people maybe going through this and not even realizing it, because when this concept came up, I go, well, I ask myself, am I a people pleaser? And today I think, yeah, I try to serve others and live with a servant's heart. But I'm not as much as a people pleaser as I was, say, 10 years ago, because it was costing me my health and my peace. And so I think this is a very important concept, and I want to help viewers see the difference between serving others from a position of love and service and then, you know, versus abandoning themselves out of fear.
So you've been doing this for a while. So where are you today in that journey? And is it affecting your relationships? Are your relationships richer now? Do you have a closer friends? You know, maybe not as many friends, but the friendships and relationships you have are more Meaningful?
[00:20:57] Speaker B: Absolutely. It changes everything. And I love the point that you brought up about peace.
When we feel peace, you're on the right track, as opposed to the people pleasing, where there's a lot of anxiety and there's that burnout and there's that pressure.
It doesn't feel like that when you're giving from your whole heart and when you're giving from a place of overflowing, like you've just poured so much into yourself as far as self care, healing your emotional wounds, taking care of your own movement, sitting in silence, good nutrition, doing all the good things for you, then it overflows onto other people.
And it has definitely impacted my relationship. Some relationships. I actually have had to have really hard conversations with a couple of my friends and tell them honestly how I was feeling, where I would feel like, you know, maybe they would just call me when they needed something.
And I started noticing this pattern and I was feeling like this doesn't feel good for me. So I could keep showing up as a people pleaser, helping them through all the ordeals that they were going through, but never feeling reciprocated. And then I started thinking, you know, that's the role of a therapist. So if they want to pay me to do that, then okay, we can set up a different relationship. But the role of a friend is mutual and there's a give and a take.
And so I had to have some of these hard conversations. And thank goodness, both of the friends that I've had this conversation with, we've been able to not just maintain the relationship, but it's stronger, it's healthier, we're more honest with each other. They were able to open up to me about things that they hadn't said before because they were also living in fear and not wanting to maybe hurt my feelings.
So all around, it's. It's amazing to be able to show up honestly. And sometimes you will lose relationships. That's how that definitely can go.
[00:23:22] Speaker A: Sure. I think that's the consequence of setting boundaries. I think we all have to set boundaries, and I didn't do that for most of my life. And then once you start setting boundaries and focusing on the inner work in yourself, then everything else changes.
I love that concept. I wake up every morning and spend 30 minutes in silence and reading scripture and prayer and meditation, and that's how I start my day. But that's. That's really only how you can improve your inner self. Janice, I want to connect your TEDx message to everyday life. Family, work, relationships, leadership, and personal Growth. So tell us a little bit about your TEDx lectures and what message you hope people get from that.
[00:24:02] Speaker B: So I've done two TedX talks.
One was about people pleasing. The other is called One Fear Per Year. And it talks, I talk about my journey of choosing one activity every year that triggered a lot of fear within me.
And I've done that for about 14 years now. So I have this list of 14 different things that I've done that are kind of, some of them are kind of out there and you know, like a bodybuilding competition or stand up comedy, even learning how to meditate was a huge fear. So that was one that I did one year. So those are the two messages. And really like we talked about before, they kind of go hand in hand as far as the fear and the people pleasing.
[00:24:51] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I think it's important because I want viewers to hear that they can be compassionate and kind without being controlled by the need for approval. And I think this is a very important message that we're hearing today. And so we're going to take a short break and when we return, we're going to talk about one of Janice's most powerful ideas, walking through this One Fear Per Year. We've mentioned it a little bit here, but I want to go deeper into that and how courage can become a wellness practice. So stay tuned. We'll be right back.
We'll be right back with more tools and insights to help you feel healthier, stronger and more energized. Stay tuned. And we're back. I'm Dr. Nathan Bryant and this is yous Optimal Health on Now Media Television. Let's continue.
Welcome back to youo Optimal Health.
Fear is something every person experiences, but it does not have to become the thing that controls our lives.
In this segment, I want to talk with Janice about her message of walking through One Fear Per Year we touched on in the previous segment and how courage can change the way we live. So Janice, you mentioned You've gone through 14 years of tackling one fear and is your list running out? Are there many more fears that you hope to accomplish and how has this changed your life and overcoming that?
[00:26:05] Speaker B: Ah, it has, first of all completely changed my life. I am a totally different human being now than I was 14 years ago going through the divorce and my rock bottom moment. So just as an encouragement, there is hope through the seasons of life.
So if you're going through a hard time, keep going, please keep going because there's, there's better times to come. I love you know, the sun Will come up tomorrow by Annie. I always think about that.
So never give up. But this one fear per year journey, I try to get everybody to join me on the journey because it is so transformational.
And the reason why it's so cool is you choose an activity that triggers fear within you and then you give yourself 365 days to complete that activity.
So if you're anything like me and felt very overwhelmed at the beginning, I really did feel very overwhelmed to walk through any type of fear.
This is, it's nice because you can think, okay, I have, I have a whole year to do this thing. And then you reverse engineer it and you take small baby steps by either researching. Obviously it's going to depend on what the activity is.
[00:27:42] Speaker A: Sure.
[00:27:43] Speaker B: But let me give you an example if you'd like.
[00:27:46] Speaker A: Of course, real life examples are the most meaningful.
[00:27:49] Speaker B: Yes. So my first fear was to run a marathon because I knew people did this crazy thing, but I didn't know how. And I thought it was really impossible to do.
But because people do it, I was like, okay, I'm obviously missing something here. So I, I made that decision. Here's my fear. I got my calendar. I wrote the date on the calendar. Actually, funny thing is it didn't start as a marathon. It started out as a half marathon.
So first I decided I'm going to do a half marathon. So I put that date on the calendar. I went out, I found a training group. This is the next most important thing I can say about walking through fear and is to find people or a person even, but somebody else to walk that journey with you. So it can either be a training group, a mentor, a coach, a therapist, a friend. I don't care who it is, but you're not doing this alone. We need support and motivation and we're meant to be in community.
So I joined a training group. I started following their protocol, which was getting up three or four days a week at like six in the morning to meet them to go run on the river. And they started really with short distances.
And then little by little, they just added on and added on. And then they did cross training. In between they talked about nutrition and hydration, all of the things. So I learned from this group, trained with the group, and then the half marathon day came.
I ran it. I was able to, to finish it. It was amazing. I felt, felt such a sense of accomplishment. So much so that this same group was going to run a full marathon.
I think it was two or three months later and I decided to sign up for that because I was already on a roll. And that's the thing. As you start going, you'll get full forward momentum and you will keep going.
And so then I ended up doing the full marathon in December.
But that's just one example of how you can do something like this.
[00:30:12] Speaker A: Yeah. You know, in medicine, we try to avoid fear because it puts us in this fight or flight and sympathetic overdrive. And fear is really a biological signal, but it doesn't always. Not always a reliable life director. So as we enter this phase of fear, it's important to balance our autonomic nervous system and not get stuck in that sympathetic overdrive. But what I see is if you're doing this intentionally, you're controlling that and you're guiding the direction.
So I think that's a very important conversation.
And really congratulations on the marathon. But I think that's just one example, and I'm sure there's many, many more. But of your 14, do you still have a list that you're working toward of new fears that come up or new things you want to accomplish?
[00:30:55] Speaker B: I, I don't think too far ahead.
I, and I don't even have it. It's not like, okay, January 1st, I have to have a fear because those things become too rigid.
And remember we were talking about taking messy action and not being a perfectionist. So we want to avoid these types of concepts where it's like you have to do something at a certain, certain exact date and you feel so constricted by it. But what I do is. And what you also can do. Anybody out there listening? You open your heart to the idea and you open your mind to the idea.
As soon as you do that, you will start to hear things or see things that trigger this fear in you where you go, oh my goodness, I could never do that. Or oh my goodness, this person did this. That's, that's crazy. That's amazing. Or there's something that's been nagging at you for years and you know that it's, it's something that needs to be done, but you're so scared to do it. A lot of times those things revolve around hard conversations with people, whether that be a boss, a friend, a, a spouse, a child. You know, it's, it's hard for us in relationships with people. So keep your heart and your mind open.
[00:32:20] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:32:21] Speaker B: And then you will know. You will know instinctively and intuitively what that fear will be.
So, for instance, last year it was the TEDx stage for me, because even though I Said, I have done two TedX talks. One of them was during COVID And so it was a recorded talk that I just did from my house. So I felt like I had kind of cheated that one a little bit because I wasn't in front of an audience.
So last year was the standing on the TEDx stage in front of a live audience.
This year it was actually being a TV show host, which I know you know all about.
And that was a scary thing, you know, to do what you're doing and interviewing people. So that's this year and for next year, I still don't know.
[00:33:16] Speaker A: Well, look, this takes. Obviously takes courage. And early on, did you see yourself as a courageous person to take this on, or did you find courage in that process?
[00:33:26] Speaker B: Courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
[00:33:30] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:33:30] Speaker B: So.
And I think it's a muscle that can be built.
Actually, I know that it's a muscle that can be built because when I first started doing this, it was a lot more challenging.
It's still challenging now, but because I have so many examples, so many things that I've walked through.
Now when I go to do something scary, something that's hard, I just look at my past experience.
And the other cool thing, this is so awesome. I think everybody will love this. Is when you decide to do one fear, you are not doing it to really accomplish or have an outcome of something. Like, you're not doing it to win.
You're not even doing it to even necessarily finish it. Like, as far as the marathon, you do it to walk through fear. That is the only reason.
So that took away all the pressure off my shoulders because I was like, wait, I know why I'm doing this. I'm doing this to walk through fear. And that's the only reason I'm doing it.
So then if the outcome isn't great, if I fall on my face, if I lose, if I whatever, it doesn't matter. I walked through fear. I'm already victorious. I'm already a champion.
[00:35:01] Speaker A: Yeah. So tie in yoga and movement as tools for grounding, breath presence, emotional regulation.
Because you're yoga instructor and you use breathworks. Tell me how this has been part of the process to overcome fear and put that fear into action.
[00:35:17] Speaker B: That was one of my fears, was sitting in stillness and just being with myself and with the emotional pain.
So one of the years, I think it was 2015, I signed up for a yoga teacher training and went to Hawaii. I know such a horrible place to do a training, but I was there for two weeks and during those two weeks, oh, my goodness, I grew and I learned so much.
Every morning we would sit outside, I think there were about like 15 or 20 of us. We would sit outside together and we would meditate together. And this is the first time that I had really meditated like that and just sat quietly and not moving.
And I think she started the first meditation at eight minutes.
And then by the end of two weeks, we had set for 28 minutes.
And all of the downloads that I got during that time, I mean, there were days where I was full of joy.
Days where I'm crying, just like crying sitting there. Days where God, I feel like, spoke down to me, where I got these messages.
Purge judgment and fill me with love was one of them that just kept repeating over and over.
So I am a huge fan of the movement as you are too, the mind, body, spirit connection.
And I really do find that in yoga, where it's breath to movement and you're very much in the present moment and you're flowing.
It is a beautiful, beautiful space to be. So I encourage and recommend to everybody to find some type of movement. You've probably also heard of the runner's high, of course, that's a very similar state, right, of like meditative bliss, almost.
So finding your thing, but where you can really tap into the present moment is super important.
[00:37:31] Speaker A: And during this 28 minutes, you're practicing breath work and subtle movements, or this is just sitting in silence in meditation.
[00:37:40] Speaker B: The 20.
The 28 minutes that was just sitting in stillness and eyes closed and breath
[00:37:49] Speaker A: working, practicing breath work and type of intentional breathing.
[00:37:55] Speaker B: That was it. It was just. Well, we would do some breath work, but the meditation part was really just sitting there. And she also said, you know, as much as possible, try not to move.
So I really tried. You know, there was like a fly that landed on me and different things that you feel.
And I would just sit there as a form of discipline, almost just to go, I'm not going to scratch that itch. I'm not going to move. Obviously, if it's something crazy and something's biting you or whatever, you don't have to do that. But for me, I really wanted to tap into that place of commitment and discipline.
And I'm just going to be here. And I am here for whatever happens. I'm here for the reality. Not. Not a beautiful reality or a reality of an expectation that I have, but just to be present in what is, what actually is happening. And that was such a transformative way to live life.
[00:39:05] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I think It's a very valuable practice and I would encourage Everybody to spend 10, 15, 20, even half an hour in silence every day and just come into your own breath work.
People don't really know how to breathe and they don't understand the consequences of poor breath and mouth breathing versus deep nasal breathing. I mean, there's physiological mechanisms in play there that can contribute to good health and contribute to poor health. But I want people watching to feel that courage is not about becoming fearless.
It's about learning to move with fear without letting fear on the outcome. And I think that's why this, you know, one fear per year practice is so valuable because it forces you to, number one, acknowledge the fear but, but then conquer it and under your own control.
So when we come back, we're going to bring this conversation home with practical ways to use words, movement, courage and hope to support a healthier life.
We'll be right back with more tools and insights to help you feel healthier, stronger and more energized. Stay tuned. And we're back. I'm Dr. Nathan Bryan and this is yous Optimal Health on Now Media Television. Let's continue.
Welcome back to youo Optimal Health. We've talked about words, people pleasing, fear, courage, messy action and movement. And now I want to focus on what viewers can take into their own lives starting today.
So Janice, tell us what is the one thing or maybe a couple of things that have been most transformative in your life on how you've been able to change this whole perspective from people pleasing to still maintaining kindness but really owning yourself and taking control of your own community and self worth.
[00:40:49] Speaker B: I would say the first thing, so not to jump over stuff because if you put band aids on and you still have a deep wound, it's not going to work very well. So we have to get at the root of what causes the people pleasing.
And so my best recommendation is if, is to do therapy honestly. And if you don't want to do therapy, there are a ton of self help books, a ton of YouTube videos, things you could do for free but really opening up yourself to identify and start to heal the emotional wounds that you carry with you in your subconscious. And a lot of times we have these wounds that we're not even aware of and they control our lives. It's, it's pretty crazy.
[00:41:50] Speaker A: Absolutely.
[00:41:51] Speaker B: So I mentioned before, hypnotherapy was a big one for me. I also did emdr, I did neurofeedback, I did regular talk, the therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, I did all sorts of of things like that just so I could better understand what was holding me back, like what was actually going on underneath.
You know, they talk about the glacier and how you only see a part of it, but most of the glacier is underwater, where you don't even see it.
And that is how we are. Our subconscious holds most of how we show up in life, our belief systems and everything. But we don't even see that it's below that top layer.
So that's my first thing is I would say identify and start to heal those emotional wounds that probably started in childhood or in adolescence.
[00:42:55] Speaker A: Absolutely. You know, these are stored as emotional as fields, as energetic fields and maybe subconscious, but there's a frequency in there that's interrupting normal metabolism. And so breath work, emotional release is extremely important. But you know, a lot of people who may be listening to this may be in this pattern of self pleasing and really feel hopeless. At what point did you ever feel hopeless? And if so, how did you regain hope and give you the courage to move forward? Because hope is a very powerful force and without hope, you know, there's not much people can do where they're not motivated to take that first step and really address the underlying trauma or issue.
[00:43:34] Speaker B: Yeah, I think I have felt hopeless in the past and felt just a sense of I struggle not so much with depression, but more anxiety, which is always about the future and fear is always about the future.
So those are kind of the things that, that I would struggle with. But I couldn't agree with you more that hope is so important. And that's one of the reasons that I go on shows like yours or that I do any of the things that I do as far as public speaking, because talk about a big fear, that's also a big fear of mine.
And I go, you know what? At the end of the day I want to share with other people that there is hope. And the reason I know that is because I have been on the bathroom floor in the fetal position feeling so hopeless and so sad and so heartbroken.
And so I want people to know that they're always is hope. And what helps me is to think of the seasons in life. You know, it's like summer, winter, fall, spring. There, there are seasons and they don't all look the same in nature and they also don't look the same in our lives. And there are going to be those moments of, let's call them winter, where you're hibernating and you, you know, you don't feel as good. You might feel heartbroken. Or hopeless, but knowing that that season will change and just truly knowing that and then doing the things that will help you best get through that hard season, which you've already mentioned, breath work, which I'm a huge fan of, I've done some cold plunging, which is kind of a, a new thing that, or, you know, people are talking about it more now.
So doing those sorts of things, always doing movement, being in community with people, people that you trust.
Proper nutrition and hydration is so important. You know, there's that saying you are what you eat, but I think you are what you eat. So being mindful of all of that.
[00:46:02] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I think that's why this is so important. Because here at optimal health or your optimal health, we want to integrate all of these. And if people aren't in an emotional good spot, then their physical, you know, their emotional health suffers and it's a chronic cycle.
So with your work through these multiple titles and multiple things you do through Spanish Janice, and your speaking, your podcasting, your writing and creative platforms, what's your message and out there to people and, and how can you help and what's the recommendations you give for people who may be stuck or more importantly, to avoid people getting stuck in this people pleasing and self abandonment type cycle.
[00:46:40] Speaker B: My main message is to chase courage and to walk through fear.
Fear holds us back from truly living the life of our dreams. It holds us back from becoming the, the highest version of who we can be.
So walking through fear, chasing courage, making that a habit to build that courage, muscle. So the next time you hear of something and you're like, oh my goodness, I could never do that, think twice about that and go, wait a minute, what if? My biggest treasure, what if the greatest thing ever lies right on the other side of doing that one thing that I'm terrified to do.
What if?
And then take the messy baby steps, fall down, know that it's going to be hard.
Know that to do anything new or different requires some reps. You're probably not going to get it perfect out of the gate.
So I feel like knowing these things ahead of time really helps.
When the rubber meets the road and you're feeling really uncomfortable, which you will feel, it's your wiring, you know, you've been programmed to feel this way. There's that fight or flight or freeze response that just pops up involuntarily. So knowing these things really helps walk through fear when the going gets rough, which it will.
[00:48:20] Speaker A: Yeah. Now look, I've, you know, I've been told, I truly believe it that if you're not uncomfortable, you're not growing, and if people want to be comfortable and they don't want to step outside their comfort zone. So I've made an intentional practice in my daily life to wake up in silence, in prayer, in meditation, practice deep breathing. I typically do the sauna, and then I do the cold plunge as well, because, number one, I think there's health benefits. From the science on it is pretty convincing, but I absolutely hate it. And I have a fear of cold water. But you know what I do? I get up. I do it two to three, sometimes four times a week because it helps me overcome that fear. And it's two to three minutes of really discomfort.
But what I feel after that, 10, 15, 20 minutes after that, is an energetic feeling that it's just the best way to start my day. So, you know, listen to this conversation and engaging this conversation. I didn't realize, well, maybe I need to do that. But I think I'm already doing that in some manners, in what I do. And, you know, coming from academia, I don't have a fear of public speaking. So this isn't something that, you know, I'm practicing overcoming that fear. But certainly we all have fear, but I think it's recognizing that fear and then taking these subtle intentional steps to overcome it. And growing up in a missionary household and background, do you find that the faith has a lot to do with how you overcome these fears and how you become the best version of yourself? Where does faith play a role in this process for you?
[00:49:46] Speaker B: For me, yes. And I have had to separate religion from spirituality and my own relationship with God.
I think different religions and different churches do the best they can, but they are composed of human beings who make mistakes.
And so when I was in a church with a lot of hypocrisy and judgment, condemnation, very critical, and that to me, didn't ring true of.
Of love.
And so I believe that God is love at the end of the day.
So that really does anchor me.
I feel that presence and that power of love kind of undergirding everything that I do. But it is personal and amazing and hard to even put words to.
But yes, faith is a huge, huge part of what keeps me hopeful, what keeps me happy, joyful, what keeps me loving other people and not people pleasing.
Because sometimes it would be easier for me to fall back into the people pleasing part, which is actually manipulation and lying.
And instead of that, now I opt for truth, even if that's a hard truth to be able to say it from that place of love.
[00:51:31] Speaker A: Yeah, look, I think that's very important. And you know, each of us have a reason for being here. Right. And once we figure that reason out and live a purpose driven life with purpose and understand our why, I think it makes everything we do worth doing in the life we live, certainly worth living. So, Jenith, this has been a great conversation and really how all this, the words and the, you know, the self reflection and how it really affects our overall and our optimal health. So I want to close by making this very practical for someone watching who feels stuck, afraid, exhausted or just unsure of their voice. And I want to talk about the first small step someone can take when fear has become too familiar. I want to explore how people can begin replacing self criticism with language that is honest, hopeful and forward moving.
And I think it's important to connect movement, breath and presence to emotional health because sometimes the body has to calm down before the mind can think clearly.
I think it's important that you understand that optimal health is not perfection.
It is participation, choosing to show up. As Janice said, show up one small step at a time. Take this process. It's not going to happen overnight, but speak honestly, move with courage, and take the next step.
So I want to leave people with a reminder that messy action still counts. And sometimes the imperfect step is the step that changes everything.
So, Janice, as we close, I want to thank you for joining us and for the hope and encouragement you bring through Spanish Janice. And this conversation reminds us that health is not only what happens inside the body, it's also the way we speak, the way we breathe, the fears we face, the courage we practice.
So for everyone watching, we hope this episode encourages us to pay attention to our words, release the need for constant approval, and take one brave step toward the life we are meant to live. Janice, before we go, where can people find you? Follow your work or learn more about one fear per year. And just to connect with Spanish Janice, absolutely.
[00:53:30] Speaker B: I would love connecting with everybody. My website is jan janice bert.com and I do have a monthly newsletter that I send out. Not spammy at all. It's just encouragement. It's hope.
It's, you know, little. Just little things having to do with movement and yoga and all of that good stuff. So you can sign up for that. And also on Instagram, I am sponsored Spanish underscore Janice.
[00:54:04] Speaker A: Well, thank you so much for joining us on your optimal health. We'll see you next time on NOW Media tv.
